Object Relationship!!!

 Ok, before everyone assumes, I'm not talking about objecting to any relationship :D

I was reading an interesting book that spoke about habits and how we can take cues from our environment to make a habit sustainable. One of the things the author mentions is to stop thinking about your environment as filled with objects and start thinking about it as filled with relationships. This is mainly to use them as cues to stack habits and make them stick. Example, keep the guitar in the middle of the room to pick it up when you enter, leave a book on the pillow when you make the bed for u to pick it up at night.

I was thinking a bit more literally and see if we can actually make it a beautiful experience. Like washing the utensils which is probably the most hated job at any house. Imagine you are giving a bath to your kid when they were small with a loofa and loads of bubbly soap. If you can relate that experience to dishwashing, you might actually enjoy that and even crave it once in a while. With kids growing up, it might remind you of the beautiful times of childhood. And for dirty dishes, it could be like cleaning their potty which I actually enjoyed 😂

Similarly, walking on the cross trainer could take me to the exhausting but most fulfilling trek of Kumara Parvata. The drained legs did not impact the spirit that was lit by the lightning and thunder. Running could remind me of playing cricket in Beagles. 

Reading could remind us of listening to stories from our grandparents. Imagine your grandad telling this story from his past travel experience 100 yrs ago.

Holding a guitar could be like your loved ones sitting on your lap and you are holding them tight 😍. And playing an instrument could remind you of your favorite songs. Even though it might sound horrible, for you it could be beautiful.

Isn't it a super way of looking at objects or chores and making it interesting and more fun? Our brain is a super tool and imagination can impact our lives very differently. As John Lenon said, Imagine:

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us, only sky
Imagine all the people
Livin' for today
Ah
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Livin' life in peace

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one 😇

Musical Journey!!!

I have spoken a lot about music and the biggest regret of my life is not learning to play any instrument or sing. Every time I have tried, I have given up way faster. 

I remember being super excited about it when kiddo was born and I had planned for music during the 4 months of alone time when my family was in India. I was so excited to learn the guitar, took classes at Liverpool university for 3 hrs a week, got a beautiful fender guitar, and got going. The few weeks were great but the motivation dwindled down soon and before I knew I had stopped practicing. Felt so gutted the guitar has been untouched for 9 yrs now.

Last few months I have thought a lot about my regret and have decided to do something about them. And music has been in my thoughts for long. I was inclined to buy a keyboard but then thought about how I will feel if I abandon it like before struck me. So instead thought about getting back to the Guitar couple of weeks back. Today I finally decided to do something about it and planned to get the broken string mended by my dear friend. Little did I know the music journey would have started in such a special way.

The morning was unreal 😇. And then humming my favorite song in that incredible environment was something else (no words to describe), couldn't have been better. 

Then met D to fix the guitar. He showed me the project he has been working on and it was mesmerizing and jaw-droppingly good. And the to-be project was very special like the icing on the cake, I cant wait for it. He was busy and could not have fixed the strings, but somehow the plans got canceled and he was made available for me. Felt like it was meant to be fixed today. He quickly changed the string, tuned it, and started playing my guitar. He was in love with the sound she made, I could see it in his face.

With my college bestie M helping me to train and promised to pester me (kick me in the balls) if I slag, I'm sure ill be able to do something about it. He already gave me 30 mins gyan on the physics and the structure of the guitar even though I knew it.

For years I wanted to learn music to play in front of others and probably impress them. When I saw H in his room playing 10+ instruments so well, I just could not understand why he did not want to be on stage or in a band. Today I get it. Music was for him, his soul, and no one else mattered. I want to learn music for myself now and to connect with my soul. Obviously, if I am good enough to play in front of others, I will do it. If not, I will try it for myself, I think I deserve that 😃

It felt like today had to be special to start my music journey. I hope I have the patience and the headspace to continue this journey till I can remember. So here I come my love 💓

Original Killer!!!

No, im not talking murder here, I am too scared of that shit. Referring to songs that took the original and made it their own and actually killed it.

I was listening to this version by Abhay of 'Aye Zindagi' one of the most iconic songs from an iconic movie. 

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=M5zx636jRe4&list=PLldtlwT0v34nASNXTKxqFVijyq2qev3rZ

I found it different and refreshing. Dont know if it was the tabla or the various instruments in the background or the vocals or something else. It felt nice and has a good vibe to it. The lyrics and the feel of the song was always great.

Then you have some of the remixes from the 90s that blew us away. The videos were sexy, the mood was different. 

I had the exact feeling when I heard version of jaan nisar. I can't go back to the original anymore. I tried the original today and found it so bland and emotionless. 

I have always be a originals fan but at times some gems come out which makes you think, why not. 

Some people have that talent to pick up something  embrace it and make it their own. Such original killers I must say!!!

Fish Sauce Panna cotta!!

 Now that I have your attention with the worst possible dessert, just hang on a min for me to complete :)

I was going through this podcast called Habit Coach which is interesting as it has bite-size content on some decent subjects. The latest one was about 'what if' which is not normally asked. We are too practical to write off things before we could give them a thought as it could be too stupid, too impractical, too difficult, etc. The example he gives is a panna cotta with fish sauce dressing which sounds pathetic but it was absolutely delicious. In the same exact way, there are many such scenarios that come to us where you could find different results just if you ask 'what if'. So, go ahead, ask yourself and make sure you go through all possibilities before you write these thoughts/ideas off your page. You might just be missing the most delicious dessert on the menu 😋

The link to the podcast is below if any of you want to hear about it.

https://youtu.be/9R1vn9oTHU4

PS: hearing this on the day I have been thinking of so many dreams and trying to brush them off is just not helping. Makes me think 'WHAT IF' 😂 Looks like life finds different ways to screw with your brains 😅 but mein haarega nahi 👹

Nature!

 Recently I was talking to someone about how I do not like perfect things, nature being the only exception. Nature has always played a balancing act and off late the impact of it is seen with global warming, floods, torrential rain, drought, etc.

The same goes for our lives. Nature puts us through some really challenging times and just when are overwhelmed with life, nature gives us hints of something good to keep us hopeful. Most times they are ignored but some of us hold on to them for longer.

We just need to look at those hints and keep going. If possible spread that positivity and hope it shines through the dark skies and brings in brightness to all.

Note: apparently the 13th July moon is special and called buck moon 😀 Can't imagine how we end up seeing this when no one is looking for it and makes the walk worthwhile. Helps you keep going and fighting for the future.

Anand!!!

 The only movie that I am able to think about since yesterday is Anand! Probably the greatest movie in Indian cinema directed by the great director Hrishikesh Mukharji (Hrisha Da) and with couple of great actors of our time made this movie a timeless classic. 

The character Anand is someone I have been inspired by a lot. He was chatty, bubbly and so full of life. He lived life at a supersonic pace and laughed like there was no tomorrow. Behind all that was an ailing cancer patient who was coming to terms with it and while he was at it, lived wholeheartedly. The friendships he made along the way and the relationships he built were something I wish for everyone. 

There were some heart-touching scenes of relationship and bonding it makes you cry. The way he asks Dara Singh to help a girl and comes up with the work MukkaLaat instead of mulakaat :) Like when his friend's wife calls him bhayya, Anand says 'Kya aashirwad du behen, yeh bhi to bol nahi sakta ki meri umar tumhe lag jaaye'. Or his super chemistry with Murarilal the theater director who then introduces Anand to Rajani Ben 'Ben hogi teri :D'. And the time when Murarilal visits Anand aka Jaychand home and finds out about his cancer 'Mein dua karta hoon ke mein yeh shart haar jaaun' (with tears in his eyes, there is something about funny people when they cry, it hits you the most). Anand's conversations with the nurse who he calls mummy were heart-touching.

But the best was his bond with Babumushoi. Two completely opposite characters come together as best friends. Even the irritating scolding was fun and showed the connection they had. Anand cared for Babumushoi in such a different way. They lived and laughed together and shared a special bond. The strongest words was when Anand says 'Mein har din maut dhekta hoon, tumhari aakhon mein'. Then he goes on to say 'Babumushoi, zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahin. Jab tak zinda hoon tab tak mara nahi… Jab mar gaya sala main hi nahi. Hum aane waale gham ko kheench taan kar aaj ki khushi pe le aate hai… aur us khushi mein zehar ghol dete hai'. So true isn't it, we overthink all the wrong things and screw up the small happiness we can find today.

The ending scene was probably the strongest of any movie I have watched. The concerns Anand shows during this last few mins about Babumushoi hit me, that is what true friends do "Dost Babumushoi ko sambhal lo, who mere bina reh nahi sakta, who bahut kamzoor hai". And then asks for the recording  which starts with a hard-hitting poem :

"Maut tu ek kavita hai…

Mujhse ek kavita ka Vaada hai milegi mujhko…

Doobti nabzon mein jab dard ko neend aane lage…

Zard sa chehra liye chaand ufak tak pahunche…

Din abhi paani mein ho raat kinaare ke kareeb…

Na andhera, na ujala ho… Na abhi raat, na din…

Jism jab khatam ho aur rooh ko jab saans aaye…

Mujhse ek kavita ka vaada hai milegi mujhko"

As the poem ends, Anand leaves us all with silence and void. Babumushoi returns home and yells at him to talk, then:

"Babumushoi, zindagi aur maut upar waale ke haath hai…

Usse na toh aap badal sakte hai na main…

Hum sab to rangmanch ki kathputliyan hai jinki dor upar waale ki ungliyon mein bandhi hai.Kab, kaun, kaise uthega … Yeh koi nahin bata sakta hai, ha ha ha"

The laughter at the end says so much about life and how to live and also engulfs everyone with grief and sadness. Probably that is what some people can do to you, make you fight for life and when they leave, give you such positivity that you can carry on for long.

Sadly, that is what happened yesterday when a lively bubbly fighter named Neelam lost her battle with cancer and passed away. She was wifey's cousin who I visited last month in Pune and was inspired by the way she fought it (there is a blog named "Satisfied" I wrote last month). We couldnt even visit to play our respect as she went from being alive to ashes within 6 hrs (due to complications, they could not wait). Not once I thought she will pass away, such was her determination and positivity. She had no friends, no husband/kids, no extended family around...and took total charge of the situation with her mom. Her constant smile and sparkle in her eye never gave an impression of an ailing person. I thought she will make it through just by her determination and had her in my prayers for the last 1 year. I am not even able to think of anything else since yesterday, forget releasing her from my prayers. I so wished she will be around to tell her story of grit and determination to the world, but it was not the case (probably I will do it for her). There is a feeling creeping in that if God really exists and if yes, what has her mother deserved to lose her mother, husband, and daughter to cancer at a very young age. I just hope Neelam has influenced her mother enough to continue to live life.

Today being Guru Poornima, I want to take this as the biggest lesson from Neelam. Life is worth fighting for no matter how low the chances are ('Jab tak zinda hoon tab tak mara nahi… Jab mar gaya sala main hi nahi'). And while we are at it. live it to the fullest without any regrets. Things could change very quickly and we have to be ready for any challenge life throws at us. And do not lose hope as miracles do happen. Spread this positivity around, you don't know who might be in desperate need of it.

All I can say today is 'Thank you Neelam! for being in our lives, for being part of our journey, for showing us how to face death (even on the last day she said she was not in pain), for showing us to hope and fight, and for the never-fading smile'. Hope I will live life to the fullest and face death with the same positivity when my turn comes. 

I will cherish that smile forever and Neelam will live in our thoughts. As Hrishi Da rightly said 'Anand mara nahi, Anand marte nahi!!'

Shades of grey!!

 Ok, before anyone jumps to a conclusion, I am not going to talk about my sex life or fantasies ;). I am talking about grey hair and the so-called process of aging.

Thanks to my incredible genes, I have very less grey hair, so less that I don't even notice them. The narcissist in me only focuses on the really good parts :D.  OK, you already know the kinda person I am, self-praise is never too far away ;) But off late I have been pointed out a few times that I am greying and I should act like my age :) So much so that the one grey hair on the back of my head was also pointed out. I am sure me writing about might look like it bothers me :D, But it was the nicest way to show they notice things about me.

TBH, I kinda like the grey, it adds to the character (especially my beard, it looks cooler).  It helps me feel good in a weird way, like aging wine perhaps! I think more like a young person and most times behave like one, the grey reminds me that it is ok to be stupid even when you age. Whenever I am reminded of grey hair, my first reaction is I would rather have grey hair than lose it. That also kinda hints that I do care about looks. Given the crazy guy I am, If I had loads of grey hair, I would have probably colored it silver than the normal black/brown and have a really different hairstyle. I think the full silver look is kick-ass.

I don't want to comment on what others think, it is a personal choice. I have seen a few who completely own it and many who color it.  And there are some who have such a charm that you will not even notice it. 

Hair or no hair, black/grey/brown/etc does matter but most times, it is about how comfortable you are with them. If you think they are bad it will look ugly and if you flaunt them, it will look cool. In the end, after the initial looks, it is the character that matters. Most times you do not see beyond the genuine smile and sparkling eyes!!!

Cheers to greying, aging, living, and growing old with incredible memories!!!

Being Andy Dufresne!!!

I was typing something last week where the word 'Hole' was autocorrected to Hope which instantly brought a smile to my sulking face. This reminded me of the movie that has had a big impact on me, Shawahank Redemption!!! I must have watched it countless times and is one movie I will watch if it is on TV. There are so many characters that have had an impact on me. 

It could be the flamboyant Tommy who just couldn't read. How he managed to build the courage to take up his studies and do well. Then his ending sucked the hope out of me :(

Then there was Brooks who was institutionalized. So many of us are in our thought processes and beliefs. Like they say in Kannada, 'Appa haakida aalada mara antha nethaadtha eddivi' :) So much so that he could not survive outside alone. There is so much to think for us looking at Brooks. Imagine growing old and all our friends and family are not around, what will keep us going, what is the motivation to live, forget enjoying life?

Then there was Red, the only non-innocent person in the jail. He had committed a crime at a young age when he did not realize the consequences and is beating himself daily for it. So much so that he had lost all hope and said "Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." But he somehow manages to follow his friend's words and come out of that fear. 

"Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won't have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to Andy."

That is what true friends can do, stick around when there is no hope and walk with them to find new grounds. Influence when nothing else works. Give a kick at the backside when there is no will to move. 

Then there was Andy Dufresne, the man who knows it all but is stuck for doing nothing. Imagine how he must have felt when his only ticket out, Tommy was killed. Anyone in his place would have killed a few and gone down or just given up on everything. But no, he showed patience and literally chipped away at it daily. It must have taken yrs to do it and keep going at it. Getting institutionalized would have been such an easy option, give up and get used to the norm. He always showed there was hope, like by doing the taxes for all and watching his friends bask in the sun with a beer or teaching Tommy or playing music on the speaker. He always spread hope in the toughest of situations. And then, his plan came together and he swam through shit to freedom. And man, the way he did it and what followed was awesome. He must have planned it every day and manifested it to happen without giving up. He made Red realize that things could get better. And the journey to Buxton, the tree, and the letter, made the entire movie worth watching again.

"Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well." 

Sometime we face situations that seem to be impossible to handle and give in. Andy helped us to see beyond it and dream of possibilities. TBH, in our life, we all go between being Red and Andy based on the situation and our way of handling it. We just need to keep going and balance it out. When you think you are Red find an Andy and if you think you are Andy, be that for others around you.

So, cheers to being Andy Dufresne (for yourself and others)!!! 

And while you are working it out, it is easy to feel like Red and get into a shell. Just dust yourself up and keep in touch with people who care no matter how far they are and find your Andy. Here is a good way "Listen, here's something we can do: we can look at the moon, sometimes - and, you know, it's the same moon everywhere - and we would be looking at the same thing together that way, you see?"