Homes!

 I wanted to write something different as I have been away for so long, but I just reached the office and took out the phone when Google reminded me of the below pic 5 yrs back and every thought vanished.

What is special about this pic? This is Albert docks in Liverpool and my view from home for over 6 yrs. It was my office for 2 yrs and probably the best office I have worked in. And this pic was taken on the day I was moving out of Liverpool just a couple of weeks before I permanently moved to India.

I have always been a Bangalore boy and was very proud of my life here. So much so that I was adamant not to get a passport until 2005 as I did not want to go onsite. I was happy roaming around in India and said no to any onsite opportunity that came by until 2005. I might have settled in the US if I had not been so adamant about it, sigh!!! Little did I know that I will change my nationality in 12 years and become a Brit (I was such a freedom fighter kind, I can't believe I would be a Brit, that is what an open my mind can do).

Eventually, I convinced myself to visit the US in 2005 and got my passport and Visa done. The travel was canceled 1 day before I fly out :)) Story of me and the US😄

After that, I traveled a lot mainly to different cities in UK and Sydney but never felt at home. I had an urge to return and be with family and friends. Even after getting married when we moved to UK, I was so unsettled and wanted to come back. So much so that I and my Mumbai friend (we used to share a house with his family) used to crib every day and he eventually could not handle it and returned to India (another story that he came back after 2 yrs and is settled in UK).

The first time I visited Liverpool it was different, something about the place felt nice. And I had my best friend as my manager and flatmate. The client team was hostile, there were some insane stories about how bad they were (later realised the fault was on our end). I was in my element and turned it around so much that they were in tears when I was returning.

I worked my ass off for 6 months 15-18hrs a day but never felt any stress. I was cool and had a great time with the people around me. After almost a year of being in Liverpool, the miracle of my life happened, kiddo was born. The bond with Liverpool changed overnight, it was HOME❤️

I finally felt settled and fell in love with the city. The people were great, no filter, they liked you or hated you, nothing in between. They cared they fought they mattered. They had time for a chat or an ear to listen. I have had so many incredible memories and such affection for almost every street there.

That place from where I took the above pic had the highest memories. Kiddo used to walk/fall as a toddler on the cobbled street. His first cycle ride was on the same spot which was super to watch. I have spent hrs looking at the kayaks/rowing on the river, the walks with wifey and kid on the river bank, the high street shops, the small places where we sat while kiddo used to run around bumping into people (not once anyone felt bad about it such caring people), the coffee shops, the restaurants, the night out pub hopping, the early morning runs, the movies, the street vendors, so many things. And when I had to leave, it felt like I was leaving home. The family was already back and I was leaving for good. I remember sitting there just after taking this pic and crying. Like proper tears in my eyes but not heavy sobbing😞 It was one of the most emotional days for me (which is very unlike me).

I have visited/lived in Liverpool few times and stayed for over 2 weeks since then and relived some of the memories. But the feeling was different, I did not miss it as much as I was on that day. Initially, I felt the connection with the city is gone but I realized it was not about the city. It was about the people. I found new people, new streets, new restaurants, new hangouts, new gangs, and home was created! Home is where your loved ones are and how you connect. Lucky for me, I have always connected with people and lived fully.

I cant believe it has been 5 yrs since then. I was happy that Liverpool happened, it not only gave me home but opened my mind that other cities can also be home as long as you find the connection 🙂 Liverpool holds a very special place in my heart and will continue to be my second home. That is where I found joy and probably some of the best days of my life thanks to the Kiddo!!!

Cheers to finding more homes!!!

PS: weird that most of my memories are from the outdoors. Probably because I grew up outdoors and hardly remember sitting at home watching TV/playing games/etc. I have always related to open spaces than enclosed areas. 

I Know!!!

 "I know" is such a powerful word isn't it, it shows confidence, knowledge, pride, etc like there is nothing else to improve on. What we do not realize is that there could be a better version of the truth or a different viewpoint which will make you think and reconsider your knowledge.

I want to talk about what I learned after listening to one such podcast called the Trojan Horse Affair. For anyone who is not aware of this, look it up. This incident changed a lot of things in UK education system and also the laws for extremism. It all started with a letter that surfaced in UK talking about how schools have been taken over by certain religious groups (no points for guessing) and radicalizing them using a formula. 2 journalists (Brian from NY times, Hamza a Pakistani Muslim doctor brought up in Birmingham who wanted to become an investigative journalist) dug deep into the story to find what actually happened and made a podcast out of it.

I do not want to go through the entire series as it is best to hear the podcasts. There were a few highlights that I thought were important.

When I heard about the letter, my initial thought was "this could happen". Even though I am considerate to all religions and look at people as individuals than a group, there is an underlying preconceived notion I guess which made me think so. And many world events have influenced our thinking as we have seen what extremism can do. What I failed to look at is facts and then conclude if there was truth in that or not. We do not think much about such bias as it does not impact us a lot. 

The first thing that they discovered was that no one cared about who wrote the letter. The source did not matter and they only focussed on the content. Without knowing the source, you cannot know the intentions behind the act which is very important to understand if the content was true or biased. I have always said to take feedback by looking at what is said than who it comes from (dosnt matter if it is from a CEO or a chaprasi). But many times, you need to see who is telling it to understand the emotions and intention behind it to get the whole picture. The authorities had sidelined the source and went on a witch hunt to take down the ones mentioned in the letter and fire many teachers and make huge changes in the system.

There is one incident when both Brian and Hamza go to interview someone and were threatened to call the police on them. Brian did not understand as they were not doing anything wrong and why someone had criminalized them without even listening to them. Hamza jokingly said 'welcome to my world. Being Muslims, we are criminalized irrespective of who we are and what we think'. The initial reaction 'they could have done it' which is so unfair. Imagine living a life where many already have such bad notions about you.

Almost everyone knew the letter was a hoax but they did not care much and went ahead with the content. So much so, it became a huge issue in the parliament and everyone jumped in to make it as political as possible. Not once did they think of the people it might impact and fuel the huge problem of phobia. It went on to be a total bashing and many people got fired and impacted for life. Being considerate is very important. especially when they are already being beaten up for someone else's fault.

There was no conclusion on who wrote the letter and the consequences. But it did give a good idea of who actually gained from the letter. It helped cover up a different fraud situation in one of the schools. What seemed like a get-out-of-issue letter ended up creating such a major problem for a country. I don't think they realized it could have made such a big problem, if known, they might have written it in the first place. Small things have big impact in the wrong hands.

The biggest thing that came out of the series is how difficult being a journalist is. Hamza was so passionate about the story and is personally involved given he is from the same community. He gets carried away and writes letters requesting info with personal thoughts and it end ups killing a few strong witness prospects. A true journalist asks for right questions and reviews all options without judging. It is very difficult to leave your personal opinion aside and actually work on all possible options. You just can't pass judgment and leave it to the readers to arrive at their conclusion. Even when you know what is right, you have to be open to other perspectives. And most times it does not end as you expect, you have to accept the fact and carry on. In this case, they could not find the details with facts and bring the culprit to justice. It was left with the hope of changing people's perspectives.

Thinking about it, it is true for everyone isn't it? Leave your ideologies out and look at the facts. The whole thing about 'I know' has to change just to look at other possibilities. There are loads of things that have made us think the way we do and is not easy to leave our opinions out. So much so that we cling on to your opinions in this ever-changing world. A close friend once said 'The world has been too absolute. People pride themselves in holding strong opinions, we should pride ourselves when we change our mind about something we care about'. A lot to ponder over!!!

The less rigid your personality, the more powerful your presence - Sadhguru