Ab(e)le

There are a few stories that are not just for entertainment but also for some soul cleansing and thinking too. I have always believed that the funniest people or stories are the most emotional and come with great learning. I have been watching one such coming-of-age series called Mrs. Maisel. For anyone who does not know who it is, please spend 1000 bucks to get amazon prime and watch it. Trust me, you will not regret it.

The first thing you notice about Mrs. Maisel is her sense of humor, calm nature and obviously her looks, the 1st episode does a lot of justice to it :D But I am not going to talk about her today. I have always been a fan of transformation which shows progress and a way forward or someone quirky who stands out in the crowd. Let it be Tyrion Lannister who went from a drunk whore mongering piece of useless shit to one of the most trustworthy emotional strategic thinkers in GOT. Or it could be Phoebe, who was as quirky as it gets with her stories, songs, ways of thinking/running/living, philosophies, etc, she has inspired an entire generation to embrace themself and enjoy life.

So I am starting this series writeup with Abe, Mrs. Maisel's father, a very strange choice. When I started watching, he was the one I just did not like. He was too stuck in his ways of living from what he eats, to what he reads to the way he talks to people. Imagine a Math lecturer who has his own ways of working, is quirky, strict (biased toward a few students and treats others like shit), and easily irritable prick. A total MSP who wanted his daughter to wear good clothes/makeup to impress the son-in-law who has left her for his secretary. Instead of being angry and supporting his daughter, he tries to work with her father-in-law to fund a house for his useless SIL to return. He was so insensitive to his family, he refused to get an additional TV for the kids as he is not a 2 TV kinda guy (I don't even know what that means). He would fight with many and be a pain for those who work for him.

One of his worse traits was to take people around him for granted. Rose (his wife) has dedicated her life to taking care of the kids and her hubby. No one actually cared for her thoughts and was taken for granted. She is heartbroken when she gets to know that her daughter Midge did not agree to get back to her husband and did not discuss it with Rose. she decided to leave for Paris as she is no longer required. I think Abe had a selective hearing or ignored her completely. So much so, that when Rose says "no one cares for me and I am not needed so I'm booking a ticket to Paris, I have made lamb for dinner", all he heard was the lamb and said 'Lamb is fine!!!'.

When he found out that his wife had left him, he was furious and kind of blames her for it. And when he hears that his maid, Zelda knew about it, he questions her loyalty. "Zelda, we should have a talk about your loyalty, you should be loyal to who signs the cheques than whom you actually like, that is how American loyalty works". It shows how insensitive he could be of a situation.

Abe and Midge travel to Paris to get Rose back. As usual, Abe is a prick who is irritated with the dirty room or does not know French, etc. He would just not understand his wife wanting to live life the way she wants and live in the moment. One of the best lines Rose says is "Stay in the moment, you are in Paris, look around and take it in. Stay in the moment" which resonated with how frustrated she was and wanted to make up for the lost time. 

One of the best scenes: Midge to mom - I have missed you, mama. Rose replies: I missed me too :D

Abe is adamant to stay in Paris until he convinces Rose to return. I was kinda surprised and thought he will make her life miserable. But to my surprise, he completely embraces living in Paris. It is one of the best transformations I have seen in recent TV/movies. He mingles with locals without knowing a word of what they talk about, visits art museums, shows interest in Rose's art classes, wears a hat and a scarf to look completely local, and spends time with Rose with great love. It was kinda strange to see him like that but it was all genuine, not once did I feel he was faking it.

So much so that they end up dancing on the river bank with 'Wonderful world' playing in the background, how crazy is that:)))) There is true love between them and Abe expresses it beautifully. And since then, he is super sensitive about her. The way he convinces her that Pris is not their home and gets her back to NY is awesome, it was not forced at all. He goes above his capability to enroll Rose in art classes at his university and when she screws up with a few students, he has her back without being annoyed. He also signs up for dance lessons as they were not good at dancing on the river bank :D. He was genuinely a changed man and the change was so beautiful.

And then when he returns, he is shocked to see his kids doing different things and were not open to him about it. He doesn't know how to react to his daughter going after the family in a standup gig, absolutely hilarious shit. He is bitter and hurt (almost childish about it) which shows he could be an emotional person also. The best was when he sees Midge on TV and has a smile on his face, It says he is turning it around for the kids also :)

This makes me think there is never too late to change and start living in the moment. If Abe was able to do it, anyone can. You just need to be sensitive to your surroundings, care for your loved ones, genuinely try to be there for them and prioritize yourself also. Of all the characters, I would not have picked up Abe for this but his transformation made him stand out. He still is irritable, quirky, and annoyed, but when the time came, he showed he cared and can be a loving person. What else do you need from a man!!!

PS: there are so many characters and relationships that are worth talking about in this series. I will definitely write as I explore them more.

And I spoke too early. I did not know he had a rebel past and his stint to get back to that by quitting his job :D I am going to add it here as it progresses.

Piece of Shit!!!!

 Yes, I want to talk about shit/poop, the actual one and not something I am comparing to. Yes, I want to talk about bowel movements and if you are disgusted then do not read ahead :))

For the last 3 weeks, I am vegetarian (or Eggetarian if there is something like that) thanks to the holy month of Shravana. Not that I am overly religious about it but have multiple reasons to turn veggie. Firstly meat is not prepared at home as mom wants to keep it away which means I will have to eat outside which is not great. My meat intake has gone through the roof in recent years to almost half of my weekly meals having non veg. Thanks to this my veggie intake have reduced drastically. So this is like a detox break of a month every year. And there are so many festivals, I end up not eating for most days anyways.

Now, you may ask how is it related to bowel movement (If you are still reading it :D). Thanks to being vegetarian my veggie and fruit intake is great. Like yesterday I had musk melon, papaya, guava, pineapple and apple on the same day along with sprouts with palak and nuggekai soppu (moringa which is like a superfood nowadays), curd rice, chapathi with moong, etc. I mean, this is like a pro athlete diet :) This has made my digestive system light and improved my bowel movement a lot. For someone who has struggled with digestion and burping issues for a long time, it is a huge relief. How has this helped me and what should you get out of this??

It has become so good and consistent (I am not talking about texture here :D) that it is my inside alaram. I have to get to the bathroom at 5.45am daily. The best part is that no matter what, I can't snooze it which means I am forced to get out of bed at 5.45am :)) Can you think of a better alarm, nope? And once I am out of bed, the morning plans work out well. Today I was up by 5.45 am, freshen up and was at the baddy court at 6.10, played till 7 and got home and ready by 7.15, had breakfast and dropped kid at school by 7.30, visited a friend on my way to the office at 8 to drop the bike and reached office at 8.25 am. Tell me who can manage this kinda schedule with ease, yes I am superman :D And out of bed at 5.45 am has become the norm for every day, including weekends. Days when I don't play baddy, I cuddle up or lie on the yoga mat pretending to stretch. Both are great TBH :)

I have been reading atomic habits which talks about having cues to make things a habit. Bowel movement is the best cue I have had for my morning plan. I wish I can have a few more like this for the rest of the day to make more rituals without thinking :D

So, please work on your piece of shit, it is worth it!!!

Lucky Shirt!

 This has been long coming, probably I was waiting for my lucky shirt to be washed but I am hanging on to it for longer :D 

Since I remember, I have always found some material lucky for me. I think it started with my Grandad's hero fountain pen. I used to love it but did not manage to use it for long (Ballpens were easy to maintain and use). I did hold on to it for long. 

Then PU college happened which was like a turning point for most of us. I don't know how I got my parker pen, but boy I loved it. So much so, that I wrote every note with it. It was my fav pen ever and I have written every exam from PU to Be using that. Trust me it was not practical to use it as I used to run out of ink in the middle of a test and I had to replace the cartridge. I still have it and relish it for memories. 

Until this, I did not have any inclination toward clothes. Mainly because I could not fit into any ready-made stuff and was holding on to the tailor-made simple shit. My first jean which was a 26-inch waist was when I joined engineering. It was very special as I bought it using the money I saved thanks to the government college fee. Along with it came a bata chappal with a back belt. That was actually when I went ape shit on this luck thing. I loved them so much that I made sure I preserved for all my exams for 4 yrs. It was almost into 2 pieces but managed to keep it going. I actually gave my interview for Oracle in those chappals (I actually did) and got through it. 

Since then I have had multiple things that I thought were lucky.

-The black sweatshirt with an eagle print was gifted to me by my best friend at work. I still have it even though I have not used it in 12 yrs. 

-The black jean jacket which I and my chaddi dost bought as a pair is still running well. So much so that I wore it over the weekend :)

-The brown Clarks shoes that I used for 8 yrs in UK. They were so comfy I used them for all my client travel. 

-the striped tee that I wore almost every day to the hospital when dad was unwell. It became my hospital shirt and I wore it for major decision days. It did wonders and dad came home after 60 days of ICU stay :)

-The UCB jeans which I have abused so much thanks to the comfy and the look.

My collection of sweatshirts that I used during cold winters in Liverpool. Thanks to my dry skin, I could not use artificial heating and the shirts were the savior. I had such a hard time giving them away when I was moving to Bangalore. This is after I had used them like mad for 6 yrs :)

-The maroon shirt reminds me of the best time spent with friends and is super lucky :)

-The pink sweatshirt that turned out to be super lucky multiple times, from cold nights in UK to morning chill in Bangalore, has kept me warm and made me feel loved. 

-The luck black suit that I used for major events (now also, even if the style is outdated). I recently wore it to Great Place to Work awards and look at the results (rank 1 in mid-size companies in India). You can argue that the survey was submitted months before and the ranking had nothing to do with the suit but I beg to differ :)

-the cross fountain pen I use for all signatures

-the flat wallet which is an all-time favorite, I'm not going back to the old-styled ones any soon :)

The list is endless, no wonder I hold on to them for long. Not changing sizes (what a showoff :D) has given me a reason to keep them even though I know the style is changed and will not wear them. I also end up wearing them multiple times which is how clothes have to be used. I don't get the point in wearing them just once as it is uncool to repeat them, how stupid is that!

Thinking about it now, probably they were comfortable and felt so good that it made me relaxed. That helped me become well-behaved/energetic or whatever worked out in my favor making them lucky. Or it made me look good which is not very difficult (you know me, cocky)!! Or it was a special day that made me cling to things. Or I was in a situation which went my way and the clothes became special. 

It might seem to be stupid and people might think it is bullshit. TBH, it is, as nothing might have changed if I wore something else.

You can call it being materialistic which is OK as it makes me feel good about myself. Whatever it is, it reminds me of good times with lovely people, and has helped me get through situations and feel special. If that is not luck, I don't know what is!!!

One moment!!

I was all set for a long drive to Coonoor with family for my cousin's housewarming ceremony. Thanks to the weekend traffic and the coordination between multiple people, it ended up being a tiring journey. The biggest saving grace was the fun conversations with cousins. We reached around 4 in the evening, kinda tired but the place just lifted me up. The scenery was heavenly and the clouds made it unreal. I had never seen a cloud being sucked up from above.

The evening that followed was awesome. Surprise from by best cousin was so overwhelming, I gave her a big hug and almost squeezed the life out of her kids. They are so cute and cuddly. The drinks were flowing thanks to the world's best bartender (aka me) who likes making people drunk 😆 The rain was lashing down making it slushy and cold. It just didn't matter as we were having a great time talking and laughing. Once the rain stopped and all had reached a good high, a pianist opens up the floor for some karaoke. And man that was crazy. Most of us besuras managed to entertain the lot with old Hindi songs. It was so much fun to remember the lyrics we cousins wrote down in the 90's listening to radio channels (those were the days of no internet but we found what we wanted by working together). I don't even remember eating anything, such was the atmosphere. Sitting around the fireplace with my cousins brought back old memories.

Thanks to my newfound routine of waking up early, I managed to get out for a walk (thanks for the encouragement). I wandered around the narrow lane which heads to the dolphin's nose viewpoint and walked for 3-4 kms between tea estates and houses with good gardens. The whole place felt great. When it was time, we got ready for the pooja. The typical Tamil breakfast of Pongal, masala idly, appam, etc was brilliant. The conversations from the previous night continued. After the pooja and lunch, I had my plans to drive. I got the keys to a stunning Harley and wanted to take it for a ride to a nearby dam. Unfortunately, the bike had other plans and stayed put without starting. With a heavy heart, I got back to the room to rest and get ready for the evening cocktail party. My spirit was high and had no signs of sleep, so I got out on the same lane for a walk which was so pleasant. The evening party was much soberer as most of them were recovering from the previous night's craziness. The accordion player was special and managed to play some old hindi/kannada/tamil classics. We wound up around 11 and headed back to the hotel.

I was dreading the next day but man it was worse than what I was expecting. 11 hrs of travel, cranky tired people, bad traffic, cramped in the last seat with people nauseating, and trying to catch sleep wasn't easy. The saving grace was singing in the car to avoid nausea. Lunch was mediocre and my appetite was lost by the time I got home. 

But one moment made the entire day and the trip worth it. I'm glad I walked to my cousin's house before leaving for Bangalore and meeting the family and also having a moment for myself. It was a good 4 km uphill hike on a well-maintained road that gives you great mountain views. The weather, the feel, the scenery, the conversation, the silence, everything was just perfect. That one moment when I sat on a rock staring at perfect tea mountains in the silence changed everything. Just felt special, like nature wanted me to feel that I guess, and keep it for the rest of my life.

All you need is one moment to make up for the whole day or even a lifetime. Glad I had one such incredible moment. Looking forward to many more that will make every day worth living!!!